


The Naked Dedue

by yihou



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: (a little bit), (eventually) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mentions of past Dimitri/Edelgard and Dimitri/Marianne, Nudity, Pining, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28461891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yihou/pseuds/yihou
Summary: Sylvain tells Dedue about the Naked Man technique. This becomes relevant later on.Or, Dedue confronts his feelings for Dimitri while he and his friends prepare for his surprise birthday party.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. Dedue and his couch

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Woomi for the Dedue's Dining Room server's holiday exchange! I took inspiration from all your prompts, but this kinda ran away from me. :P Hope you enjoy!
> 
> The fic should be around 4-5 chapters. It's mostly done, so I just wanted to post this first chapter now. The next chapter should be out in a day or so.
> 
> Also, The Naked Man thing comes from the tv show How I Met Your Mother.

When Dedue and Dimitri decided to live together, Dimitri had insisted on furniture big enough to fit Dedue. It was important to him that Dedue would be comfortable, he said, and he had the money for it. Dedue still felt guilty about it, but he had agreed, mostly so he could choose furniture that actually looked nice instead of suffering Dimitri's non-existent taste in interior design.

That meant their couch was large enough for Dedue to lie down and not have his feet dangle over the end, a luxury he hadn't had since his last growth spurt. It was also very comfortable, and overall an attractive nuisance to their friends. Exhibit A, Felix and Sylvian visiting solely so they could play video games on the couch, despite having perfectly good setups at home themselves.

The two tapped furiously on their controllers, attention fixed on the tv screen. Dedue sat off to the side in the armchair instead, only half-paying attention to their banter as he knitted. It was comparable to the couch in size and comfort, and when Annette sat in it, she looked like a child. He kept his knitting basket beside it, making it a convenient spot to work on his current project.

Between the sound effects and flashing lights, Sylvain said, "I got the naked man to work again yesterday. That's five out of seven times now."

Dedue's knitting needles stilled in place. Felix made a noise of disgust and kicked at Sylvain distractedly.

"Ugh, why are you telling me this? Have I ever given you a sign that I cared?"

Sylvain laughed and returned the kick. "Who else am I going to brag to? Dimitri? Dedue? Ashe? Oh man, imagine his face."

Still, he didn't push the issue. Dedue could let the topic lie as well, but no. His curiosity had been piqued.

"Sylvain. Do I want to know?"

"No," Felix said instantly. Sylvain perked up at the same time.

"Oh man, did I never explain the Naked Man technique? It's easy, just drop trou when your date is out of the room, strike a pose, and hope to Sothis that they find it impressive and/or funny enough to sleep with you."

"Not in public, I hope?" Dedue said.

Felix smirked at Sylvain's splutter. "What, no! Ok, maybe it'll happen one day when I'm drunk enough, but this is for the end of the date, specifically when there's a low chance you're gonna bang so you do something shocking as a last resort. And before you laugh at me, it works! Five times out of seven so far, more than half. I'll take those odds."

Dedue just shook his head at him. "I'm more concerned that you've done this seven times."

"Hey, sometimes good looks and charm isn't enough, so you got to give them a peek at the goods." He took one hand off his controller so he could gesture at himself, specifically at his lap. Felix promptly booted his video game character off the stage. That effectively ended the conversation, at least until the fight was over with a screen declaring Felix the winner. He didn't look as pleased as he should be with the victory, however.

"Tch. Hardly a challenge. Why do I even bother?"

"Because I'm the only one who will still play against you regularly. Apparently I'm just a glutton for punishment." Sylvain dropped his controller to stretch his arms up. "Another round?"

"Fine."

As Felix set up their next game, Sylvain turned his head to look at Dedue.

"You know," he started, "I bet the Naked Man would work real well with a bod like yours. And I bet it'd work even better on someone who knows you and has a thing for you." He waggled his eyebrows obnoxiously at Dedue.

"No," Dedue said, not looking up from his knitting needles.

Sylvain groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. "C'mon, why not?"

"You know why."

A sigh escaped Sylvain. "Yeah, I do. I'm just tired of the pining between you two. The smell of pine. Ha, get it? I should make that into a pick-up line." The game started; he stared at the ceiling a moment more before he lurched back upright and picked up his controller once more. "You're tired of it too, right Felix?" He continued.

"Yes," Felix said. Dedue looked up abruptly, but he was looking at the tv, pummeling Sylvain's character into the ground as usual.

Dedue hesitated for several seconds, unsure whether he should continue the conversation, but the question eventually came out. "Has Dimitri said anything to you?"

"No." A pause. "But I wouldn't want him to."

"Ah, cause you're allergic to feelings."

Felix kicked Sylvain hard enough that he almost pushed him off the couch. As Sylvain laughed and recovered, Felix gave Dedue a look.

"Sylvain may get it, but I don’t. It's no big secret that he's bi, so why the fuck won't you say anything? You know how oblivious Dimitri can be. Plus he's so busy that if you wait for him to make the first move, you'll be waiting until he's out of law school."

Dedue didn't meet his eyes. He continued looking down at the mostly-done sweater on his needles and let go of one to idly brush a hand over the soft material. It was made of the softest yarn he could find. Dimitri would appreciate how a sweater felt over its appearance, after all.

"I value our friendship," he said, his voice quiet. "I do not want to risk losing if he doesn't feel the same, or if we start a relationship only for it to fall apart."

Sylvain sighed again, sympathetic this time. "That's a possibility yeah, but even if it doesn't work out, that doesn't mean you guys can't be friends afterwards. Dimitri and Marianne are still friends after all."

"True. But Dimitri hadn't known her as long as we've known each other. Or as long as he knew Edelgard."

Her name was almost taboo among their group. It made Sylvain wince, and even Felix scowled at the screen.

"...Well, you never know," Sylvain acquised weakly.

"Correct. I'll never know."

Sylvain was about to say something else when his character abruptly died, making him yelp aloud and finally focus his full attention on the game. In a stunning upset, that round still somehow ended in Sylvain's favor. Felix would have thrown his controller if it weren't for Dedue's stern look. He settled for demanding another game.

Just as it was starting, there was the sound of footsteps at the door. Dedue used the warning to fold up the sweater and put it away. Dimitri soon came into view of the living room with his duffel bag in tow, his hair in the ponytail he wore while exercising. He stopped when he saw the three of them there.

"Hello Dedue! And Felix, Sylvain, always nice to see you." As they returned the greetings, Dimitri added, "Dedue, I shared the workout snacks you made with Raphael today. He thought they were delicious, and asked for the recipe. Only if you wish to share it, that is."

"I would be happy to give him the recipe," Dedue said. A smile tugged at his lips, partly from the implicit complement, but also just from the sight of Dimitri.

Sylvain saw the look on his face. As Dimitri left the living room, he raised a finger and outlined a pine tree in the air, his lips pursed in an exaggerated pout.

Dedue resisted the urge to throw a ball of yarn at him. Felix already throwing Sylvain's character off the stage would suffice as punishment instead.


	2. Dedue and a date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, this did not come out a day later. This chapter is a bit of an outlier in length though. Here, have some fluff and pining.

Dedue had a large order coming up for wedding flower arrangements. He spent his day working on it, in between selling bouquets to customers and managing his stock of plants and flowers alike.

Of course, it was only after he completed half the order and was closing up his store for the day that he got the call.

"I understand. It's not a problem," he said to the sobbing ex-bride-to-be over the phone. "You understand that the down payment is non-refundable? No. Yes. All right, thank you for letting me know. Have a good day."

He grimaced as his poor choice of words as he hung up, reflexive as they were. He didn't know if he was having a good day either. The down payment kept this from being a significant hit financially, but the cancellation meant much of his day had been a waste of time, not to mention a waste of flowers. He gazed at the table of half-done arrangements in front of him, sighed aloud, and started picking them up.

Most of them he marked to sell at a discount tomorrow. There was little chance of all of them selling before they wilted, however, so there was no harm in setting some aside to take home. After all, why run a flower shop if he didn't enjoy flowers himself?

As Dedue was cleaning up, his phone buzzed with a text from Dimitri. It simply let him know that he would be coming home late.

That was fine with him. It would give Dedue time to take care of all the flowers.

* * *

When Dimitri arrived home that evening, there was a long pause after he opened the door.

"Dedue?" He called.

"In here," Dedue replied, standing over the stove. He lifted the cover of a pot to check on its contents, not minding the steam that curled about his face.

Dimitri followed his voice to the kitchen, looking somewhat hesitant. Before he said anything, Dedue skewered a chunk of meat in the pot and handed the fork to Dimitri.

"Try this. Blow on it first."

Dimitri's lips pursed as he blew on it like he asked. When he popped it into his mouth, he chewed on it with his head tilted thoughtfully.

"Is it supposed to be chewy?" He asked.

"No. That means it needs to cook longer." Dedue had already pulled out a second fork to try the beef as well. Dimitri was right, it was a little chewy. He replaced the lid on the pot and moved to the next. When he lifted the lid, Dimitri lit up.

"Onion Gratin as well?"

"Mh-hm." The joy on his face when Dedue made one of his favorites never failed to make Dedue smile. He gave the soup a quick stir and covered it again before he moved to a cutting board with vegetables sitting nearby. Dimitri followed, leaning against the countertop to watch him.

"You brought home a lot of flowers today," he said. "More than you usually do. Is there an occasion?"

"Of a sort." The smile on Dedue's face faded as he chopped through a cabbage with more force than necessary. The knife was loud against the wooden chopping board. "The wedding order was cancelled."

Dimitri deflated. "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. These are the excess then?"

Dedue nodded. Dimitri looked around, presumably at the blue and white flowers lining the kitchen windowsill, the large flower arrangement on the dining table, flowers in a glass vase on the counter next to him, flowers dotting the hallway, flowers just out of sight in the living room…

He perhaps had brought home too many flowers, but he could indulge himself once in a while. Dimitri knew what he was getting into, rooming with a flower shop owner.

"And now you're stress cooking, I see.” Dimitri nods as well in understanding. “How about we watch something after dinner, then? To destress after a long day."

"That sounds fine to me. Dinner will still be some time. I'll let you know when it's done."

"Alright." Dimitri pushed himself upright, but didn't immediately leave. Dedue gave him a curious glance when he just lingered beside him. Dimitri wavered in some sort of indecision for a second longer before awkwardly patting him on the shoulder and leaving the kitchen.

Was Dimitri… trying to do something there? Dedue paused for a second, but ultimately shrugged away his confusion and returned his attention to the vegetables.

* * *

Dimitri, like always, complimented his food even when he couldn't exactly taste it. And again, like always, he insisted on taking care of the dishes in thanks.

There was a routine between them, where Dedue would try to help clean up anyways until Dimitri protested enough to successfully shoo Dedue away from the dishwasher. Tonight, Dedue tried a little harder than usual; there was a larger number of dirtied plates than there typically was after he put away the significant amount of leftovers. Dimitri had to push him away, albeit gently, towards the living room.

"Go pick out something," he said. "I'll be there soon."

Dedue ended up on the couch, flipping through the movie catalog to the sound of dishes going into the dishwasher. Normally he would choose a cooking tv show of some sort, but he wasn't in the mood after dinner. No movie caught his eye, however.

"Was there anything you wanted to watch?" He called to the kitchen.

"Oh, not particularly." More clinking dishes. "If you don't have a preference, however, Marianne mentioned a movie the other day, something about dogs.”

"We can watch that. What is it called?"

By the time Dimitri joined Dedue in the living room, Dedue had the movie queued up. He pressed play as Dimitri sat next to him.

Dimitri's was right: the movie was about dogs. Specifically, about a lost dog finding his way back home with the help of other dogs met along the way. Dedue relaxed into the couch. Dimitri looked similarly peaceful. When he leaned towards Dedue and slung an arm over the back of the couch, he paid him no mind.

For the most part, the movie was a fun, slightly campy watch, meant more for children but still enjoyable for adults. There were surprisingly deep sad moments, however, and the contrast in tone only made them all the more wrenching.

"We can never show this movie to Sylvain," Dimitri said, sniffling wetly. Dedue nodded. His eyes were a little damp too.

It only got worse for the dogs. Dimitri inched closer to Dedue with each ordeal they faced. Dedue might have done the same. They weren't shy about physical contact, as close as they were. Yet, by the climax of the movie, they were pressed together, thigh to chest, and Dimitri's arm on the back of the couch fell onto Dedue's shoulders to hug him even closer. It was perhaps more intimate than they usually were, but Dedue couldn't imagine pulling away. It did make it difficult to furtively wipe at his eyes, though.

As the dogs faced their last trial, Dimitri grabbed onto Dedue's free hand and squeezed tight. Startled, Dedue glanced at him, but seeing Dimitri's eye glued to the screen, only squeezed his hand back and returned his attention to the movie. Although, not entirely. It was hard for him to ignore Dimitri's scarred hand in his, on top of his warmth against his side. And as nice as it all was, he didn't know how to interpret it. Did Dimitri mean something with such behavior? By letting it happen, was Dedue crossing the line he'd drawn for himself…?

Despite his split attention, the lost dog's homecoming was quite heartwarming after the emotional wringer the movie put its audience through. Dimitri had tear tracks down his face, but he didn't let go of his hand to wipe them away, not even the credits started rolling. For a moment, Dedue considered wiping them away himself. He got as far as lifting his free hand before he caught himself. Now _that_ wouldn't be appropriate between friends.

"Well, I can see why Marianne likes this movie," Dimitri said, his voice a bit raw. "The crying was therapeutic by the end, wasn't it?"

Dedue nodded, unable to speak around the lump in his throat.

The movie was over, but Dimitri seemed as reluctant to pull away as he was. Dedue cleared his throat and gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go.

"I enjoyed the movie. Please thank Marianne for me."

"Certainly." Dimitri slowly untangled himself from Dedue and stood up with a stretch. Dedue's side immediately felt cold. "Think I'll fall asleep quickly for once after that. Good night."

Dedue echoed him, watching Dimitri depart for his room. He sat on the couch a moment longer, absent-mindedly flexing his hand. He already missed the feeling of Dimitri's hand in his.

His face went tight and he pressed his hand flat against his thigh. The touching and the closeness didn't necessarily mean anything, he told himself. This was just two friends enjoying a night in. That was all he wanted, and nothing more.

Right?

* * *

"Flowers, dinner, a movie, and hand holding?" Flayn let out a breathy sigh, her hands pressed to her chest. "So romantic! The perfect date!"

"It wasn't a date," Dedue said, though the word brought to mind his thoughts from last night. He didn't feel as certain as he sounded.

"I don't know, sounds a lot like a date to me." There was a hint of laughter to Ashe's words, but his hands remained steady around his kitchen knife.

Dedue and Flayn met every weekend in Dedue's kitchen for cooking lessons. This weekend however, their lessons had merged into preparations for something far more important: Dimitri's birthday, a couple days from now.

This also meant that Dedue had to borrow someone else's kitchen, lest Dimitri opened the fridge to see his own birthday cake among other things. That led to Dedue and Flayn squeezing into Ashe's small but well-equipped kitchen. The plan was to prepare everything here, then keep it here until the day of, when they’ll move it all into Dedue's and Dimitri's apartment and decorate while Felix, Sylvain, and Ingrid kept Dimitri out of the house on some outing of sorts.

Mercedes and Annette would be coming in a short while to make the cake. Until then, Dedue and Ashe worked on the rest of the food, with Flayn restricted to preparation only. She accepted the role in good humor, but that didn’t keep her from teasing Dedue.

“Can you have an accidental date?” Flayn mused. “Or perhaps a date where one party does not realize it is a date?”

“Well I would say a date needs romantic intention from one party at least,” Ashe offered. “Dedue didn’t intend for it to be a date, but could Dimitri have seen it as one? With the cuddling and such. Though, isn’t he used to having fresh flowers in your apartment at all times by now, Dedue?”

Dedue paused in front of a cabinet, a pan in each hand. “He did comment on how many more flowers there were than usual…” He muttered, half to himself.

“Oh my! So Dimitri is the mistaken one here? Or, no, is it you, Dedue?”

Dedue was as lost as Flayn in this train of thought. Thankfully, a knock on the door derailed it.

“I will get it!” Flayn took two steps towards the door before she remembered the knife in her hands, hurriedly putting it down and making for the door again. As Dedue expected, Mercedes’s and Annette’s voices greeted her, along with the rustling of bags.

“You guys are pretty early,” Ashe called out as Annette and Mercedes poked their heads into the kitchen, which wouldn’t be able to fit five people, especially if one of them was Dedue. “We’re not done with our end of things yet.”

“That’s alright! We brought snacks for the snack-making party, we’re here to hang out until it’s ready!” Annette raised a plastic bag up high, meaning about chest-height of Dedue.

Flayn was already holding another bag and peering inside. “Oh, Swedish Fish, my favorite!” She gave Annette a quick one-armed hug, who happily returned it. “If snack-making parties are always like this, I am happy to volunteer my services again in the future!”

The kitchen eventually settled again, though it ended up louder than before with Annette and Mercedes raising their voices to be heard from the living room. It was a controlled sort of chaos that Dedue never experienced in his own kitchen unless he had visitors, but it put a small smile on his face. When it reminded him of the times he and his sister would help his mother cook, how could it not?

Brought here for Dimitri’s birthday party as they were, it was inevitable that the conversation would end up on the presents that they got for him.

“You finished the sweater? Oh, let me see!” Flayn squealed.

Dedue wiped his hands on his apron (that he brought from home, “Love in the Oven'' printed above a heart-shaped chicken) before pulling out his phone to show her a picture. The dark blue sweater was the first one he ever fully made, but it had no major mistakes that Dimitri would notice. The lion motif was subtle enough not to be garish, and even in a photo it looked ridiculously soft.

Flayn clapped her hands together in delight. Mercedes was drawn in at the mention of knitting, and the smile on her face when she saw it made Dedue smile back.

“Well done,” she said. “I’m sure Dimitri will love it.”

“Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without your help,” he replied, pocketing his phone.

With Dedue’s present shown off, the others brought up their gifts. Ashe was giving Dimitri a book he thought he’d like. Flayn bought him a weighted blanket. (“I have one decorated with fish. His will have horses!”) Mercedes made him multiple pairs of knitted socks along with a set of reinforced sewing needles. (“I do hope these will stand up…”)

Annette, however, had no gift for him yet. With a pout on her face, she said, “I know his birthday’s close, but I just can’t think of anything. It’s hard to shop for someone that can just buy anything himself.”

“That’s why you have to get him things he won’t buy for himself,” Mercedes advised. Dedue nodded solemnly. Dimitri has improved significantly compared to years ago, but he still forgot that he deserved to have nice things sometimes.

Annette frowned harder. “I get that. I’ll figure it out eventually. At least he’s pretty easy going.” She sighed and leaned against the kitchen doorway, twisting a lock of hair around her finger. “If I were you, Flayn, I could cook something and he’d be happy. Or if I was Dedue, I could just show up with a bow on my head.”

"I would not say my cooking is an appropriate gift yet," Flayn demurred.

Mercedes put a comforting hand on Annette's shoulder. “I’d be happy if you showed up to my birthday party with a bow, Annie.”

Annette patted her hand. “Thank you, Mercie. I’ll remember that for next year.”

There were still plenty of snacks remaining by the time the entrees and party snacks were finished. Mercedes took her place in the kitchen while Dedue helped himself to a cupcake. Flayn stayed behind to help her and Annette make the cake; he noted with some pride that some of the basic cooking skills she learned translated to basics in baking, though she still asked plenty of questions. And Mercedes still most of the work.

It was when Mercedes was waiting in the kitchen all alone for the stand mixer to do its job, Annette and Flayn in the moment playing lance-axe-sword over the last cupcake with Ashe, that Dedue spied his opportunity. He joined her by the stand mixer, the whirring sounds lending them some privacy.

“Mercedes.”

She turned to look at him as if she didn’t notice him standing there. “Oh, did you want to speak to me?”

Dedue shifted his weight from one foot to another, nerves making him uncharacteristically restless. “I would like your opinion about something.”

“Is it about Dimitri?” When Dedue raised his head in surprise, she gave him a sympathetic smile. “You put so much effort into your sweater, I had to wonder if it’s meant to represent something more.”

“It wasn’t, at first. But I’ve been thinking about my relationship with Dimitri lately. I am happy to be just friends, yet…" He crumpled the fabric of his apron in one hand, turning his gaze to the side. "...I want more between us. And all of our friends have been encouraging, but I don’t know if that would be wise. I have several concerns.”

Mercedes pressed her hand against her cheek. It left a smudge of flour, somewhat ruining the serious look on her face. “I can probably guess most of them. But whether I’m right or not, all I have to say is: tell Dimitri how you feel.”

Dedue stared at her wide-eyed. “Really?”

“Mm-hm.” She nodded. “It will do you no good to swallow down your feelings. If you keep them to yourself for his sake, then you might end up begrudging him even when it’s not his fault..”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Dedue said. She shrugged. He sighed and took a moment before asking, “What if I tell him and it goes poorly?”

“You two are such good friends. I think your relationships can weather any storm, even if Dimitri doesn’t feel the same. Especially since Dimitri’s been doing so well.” She smiles, though it falls away. “Don’t compare yourself to Edelgard, if that’s on your mind. You’re very different people, for one thing. But also, their relationship… I was worried it wouldn’t last when I first heard of it. Learning that they were actually step-siblings was only the tip of the iceberg of their problems. But it’s so different now. Dimitri has a strong support system. _You_ have a support system.”

She lightly touched Dedue’s cheek with her clean hand. “You have us to lean on, if things go wrong, but have faith that they won’t, alright?”

Dedue put a hand over hers, gently pulling it away from his face so he could grasp it thankfully. “I… I am still not sure, but you’ve given me much to think about. Thank you, Mercedes.”

Mercedes gave him a light smile that he returned. “Of course. I hope everything goes well for you.”

Dedue’s phone buzzing in his pocket gave him reason to turn away. He excused himself with a quiet word to Mercedes and retreated to the hallway, away from the loud stand mixer.

Dimitri was calling him. After just talking to Mercedes about him, Dedue had to take a deep breath to settle himself before answering.

"Dimitri?"

“Hello, Dedue. Did you see Sylvain’s text?”

“No. What did he say?” Dedue pulled his phone away from his ear to check even as he asked.

“He needs to leave town on short notice. He was hoping we could watch Rosie for him.” Dimitri sounded as perplexed as Dedue. While they have both met Rosie, neither of them were experienced with dogs. Sylvain could afford dropping her off at a kennel, too.

Dimitri continued, “I’m not sure why he’s asking this of us, but I have no issue with Rosie staying with us. He says it will only be for a couple nights. What about you?”

“I’m fine with it as well.” As Dedue spoke, he shot Sylvain a text, asking if he was going to miss Dimitri’s birthday.

“Oh, good. I’ll let Sylvain know. He’s leaving today, so I’ll be bringing Rosie home tonight with all her things. I’ll see you then.”

Dedue said his goodbye and hung up. Sylvain replied not long after that he’ll be back in time for the party. That was good enough for him.

Flayn had to leave by the time the cake was in the oven, disappointed she couldn’t stick around to help decorate it but mollified by the promise of pictures. Dedue left as well before the cake was out; Dimitri had sent him a picture of Rosie that everyone cooed over, and he didn’t want to leave him to acclimate a puppy to new surroundings alone.

He exchanged farewells with everyone and thanked Ashe again for loaning his kitchen. He would see them again soon, for Dimitri’s party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two bros, chilling on a couch, zero feet apart because they're kinda gay?


End file.
